A Little History.
Growing up my family went to a Syrian Orthodox Church and as I got older my parents allowed me to go to a few other churches. I’ve always felt different inside. I never could explain it or understand it. After my father died in Jan 1st, 1984, 3 days before my 13th birthday it devastated me and didn’t really celebrate my birthday, I remember having a cake, but it was a few weeks later. I decided to continue going to this church in Oregon. I always looked up to older men for advice maybe a father figure which I lost when my father died. The youth pastor Mark took me out one day and we talked about my salvation and at that point I decided to accept Jesus into my heart and understand what he did for me on the cross. Proverbs 4:10, “Listen, my son, accept what I say, and the years of your life will be many.” This verse explains that within my teen years and beyond that if I listen and believe that I will have a better life. While growing up I still never felt accepted in school or jobs. I still felt alone inside. I know that Jesus was within and I know that I had already accepted him. In the physical form I was looking for a father figure never looked inside to see that Jesus was inside. One day noticed that Jesus was always watching out for me. I then decided to do the best in listening and understanding. I even started a business on faith and 20 years later I am still in business. Jesus pulled me through the rough times and the sad but also the Great times. In Mark 9: 23, ‘If you can’? “said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.” I believe in him always have and will.
Moving forward,
I’ve had heart issues in the past. Even though I tried staying somewhat healthy, my genetics told a different story. In 2010 on my birthday I was diagnosed with Congestive heart failure and my ejection fraction was at 25%. With medication I started getting better. Between 2014 and Father’s Day of 2017 I had a silent heart attack. I have left branch blockage which is an electrical block my left side wasn’t syncing with my right side
This is GOD’s story:
On Sept 5th 2017, I went into what we now know was sudden cardiac arrest. Let me give you a bit of background on sudden cardiac arrest for those not familiar. SCA is different than a heart attack. With SCA your heart simply stops. If you have a heart attack, this is result of blood not being able to get to your heart because of a blockage. Statistically I am in the less than 10% who survive SCA. And of those that survive most have reduced quality of life and suffer brain damage.
A little about my SCA, I want to set the stage so you can see God’s orchestration of events first hand. It was the night before school and we had made lunches and we had just sat down to watch a few minutes of TV. What is amazing about this is my wife wakes early in the AM and normally goes to bed after we put the kids to bed. I usually go to bed too but sometimes have some work or invoicing to do and I head downstairs. This night she got into bed and laid there. She didn’t want to come downstairs but I called up to her and asked if she was going to come down. She laid there for a few minutes and decided to come down for a while. Shortly after we sat down, I made a small noise and my wife looked over at me sitting in the chair and I had my eyes open but looked dazed. She yelled my name and I was not responsive. At 10:09 my wife dialed 911. She started CPR (with the help of the 911 operator) awaiting emergency response. We live in Bonney Lake and although I know most are familiar, there are not a lot of police and there are remote areas they need to cover. But this night, a Bonney Lake police officer was relatively nearby and arrived just minutes after my wife started CPR to take over. A few minutes after that East Pierce Fire and Rescue arrived on the scene. At the time East Pierce Fire arrived, I had no pulse. Here are a few notes from the fire department report:
- E111/B111 arrived to find patient pulseless
- Time 22:23 Manual Defibrillation: Patient Response unchanged
- Time 22:25 Manual Defibrillation: Patient Response unchanged
- Time 22:27 Manual Defibrillation: Patient Response unchanged
- Time 22:43 Intubation
- Time 22:52 Manual Defibrillation: Patient Response unchanged
- Time 22:58 Dopamine: Patient Response Improved
I’ll come back to more details later.
While the tragic scene unfolded I was instantly taken from my body. I could see my wife giving me CPR and I was trying to go back to my body. I couldn’t make it so I stopped the struggle and let myself float away. What I recall was passing through what I can best describe dimensions (starry sky, dark, clouds). The final place I stopped was the most beautiful majestic place. It was bright and white all around. Looking around I saw 100’s of spirits entering the gates in front of me. I saw the backs the people entering, they were bright white and had glowing (gold) heads. They were moving quickly into the gates. The gates were made from a metal I can’t describe other than to say they were better than gold. There were 3 pillars with lion like creatures on top. Behind the gate was the brightest light of all. What I can only figure was God himself.
Being in heaven and close to walking in I felt at piece like all the weight was off my shoulders, the heavenly body was pure and translucent with a white body and a light cream upper head. I started to move towards the gates when a man appeared before me. I looked up and it was Jesus. He stood in front of me in his glory, his head adorned with a crown of jewels. He held out his hands and I saw the holes from His crucifixion. As he reached out his hands I touched them. He called me by my heavenly name Joshua and said, “You are not going in”. I continued to stand in awe and wonder. He then told me “I will take you back to your body.” I spoke only two words to him “Why me?” (why are you taking me back?) Before he took me by my hand, Jesus said “I need you to tell your story. Do not be afraid, I will be with you and tell people about what happened. I am coming again.” We joined hands and he took me back to my body. I could see the scene in my house again but this time there were paramedics over me. As He placed me back into my body He said, “You will be fixed.”
When I arrived at Good Samaritan Hospital I was in critical condition. I had undergone 4 shocks and CPR for over 45 min during the time the paramedics were at our home. My wife was taken to the hospital by the fire department chaplain and there was a chaplain called in to meet her at the hospital ER.
In the ER, they struggled to bring my blood pressure up. I was on a ventilator and required 100% oxygen to breathe 100% for me. I was heavily sedated and on 8 different medication to raise my blood pressure. In addition, they started a cooling therapy to preserve my brain function. I had Central Line and Arterial Line put in. It took two IV towers to hold all the medication they were administering.
The Doctors told my wife I was very unstable and the next 24-48 hours were critical. The chances of me going into cardiac arrest again were high and the chance of damage to my brain was likely due to the length of time I was without full oxygen to brain. After a couple hours, my blood pressure came up enough to transfer me to ICU. I was transferred still on ventilator and sedated.
While I had my experience with our Creator, my wife and family fervently prayed for a miracle. My wife had to wait outside as they got me settled into my ICU room and was in prayer sitting with her sister and dad. She quietly asked God “I need a sign. I need a physical sign that this will all be ok. Please!”
When she walked into my room the nurses were still there. They said, “he moved his hands and feet.” She asked if that was normal and they replied “It’s a great sign!” Although the movements were involuntary, the fact that I had moved my limbs was promising. It meant there was some connection between my brain and body.
Through the night into the next day, I rested unaware of anything. Johanna sat by my side and prayed for me. Mid-morning they came in to move my body so I didn’t develop bed sores. I opened my eyes as they moved me. They said my name and I nodded. They asked me to squeeze their hand and I responded!
I was still sedated but having moments of in and out. My wife told be about a time when she was standing over me and holding my hand and she said “do you see me” blink twice. I cried a tear and blinked my eyes. She then told me “I love you” I was still on ventilator and unable to speak but she told me I squeezed her hand 3 times in the pattern of “I love you”. The ICU Dr. that day told her my progress so far was nothing short of miraculous. God had moved and was moving.
By the next afternoon (Thursday), I was off the ventilator after one unsuccessful attempt on Wednesday. I was on the road to recovery. I spent 8 days at Good Samaritan and transferred to Tacoma General to have pacemaker/defibrillator installed. I still do not recall my time in ICU or the specific events of the day I went into cardiac arrest. But the one thing that is clear is the time I had with Jesus. Shortly after I woke up I started telling my experience. I shared it with friends, family and nurses during my stay.
God moved in so many ways big and small. My wife went home to get some sleep Wednesday night. That morning she continued to pray. When she got in her car the song “The Comeback” by Danny Gokey was on Air 1. This message from God brought comfort and peace to her. Later that day she shared she let doubt come over her and she opened the Bible my friend Chris had brought me. She just cracked it open randomly and it landed on Matthew Chapter 8. Contained in Chapter 8 are the accounts where Jesus heals a man with Leprosy. Jesus heals the faithful servant of a Centurion. He heals Peter’s mother and casts our demons of many. Jesus calms the storm. These verses speak about both Jesus as a healer and the faith Jesus wants us to have in Him. This message from God brought her to tears and renewed her know Jesus was the only healer/giver of life and to trust Him.
I have thought a lot about what Jesus said “you will be fixed” he did not mean my heart would instantly be healed. I still have congestive heart failure with a long recovery road ahead of me. But he did give me my life back. I also believe being fixed meant re-setting my heart to follow Him with a passion I have never expressed before. He wants me to share this story, share the HOPE, be the best father and husband I can be, dive into His word and putting Christ at the center of my marriage and family. Serve Him and lead others to Him. I commit to speaking LIFE! Finding JOY! I am thankful for my second chance.
He asked me to not be afraid to share my story and experience, something I would have been fearful to do before. I have been a Christian for several years but the glimpse into what is coming was glorious. This reaffirms for some and provides an incredible hope that He is returning and that our eternal life will be amazing when our time comes. In addition, it reaffirms that God NEVER leaves you! He is with you always! He hears our cries and prayers.
God orchestrated the people to be present that night so I could survive. And I am thankful beyond words for everyone who was involved in my emergency response and hospital care. I would not be here today if it were not for their actions. And to all my family, friends, neighbors, and Church family I thank you for your support and prayers! You provided prayer, meals, and company to us during our time of need. Most of all I want to thank my family. I have an amazing wife and 3 kids. My wife was present when this happened and started critical CPR and made the 911 call. She was present with me during my recovery and remains present with me as journey through life.
On the 21st of November 2017, we went to the Bonney Lake fire station to meet with the first response team who came out to our house that night. It was an emotional night for our family and them. I had the chance to speak in front of the Bonney Lake Elected Board, Chairman and Paramedics and to thank the Board on how important it is to maintain the equipment they use and the training they go through every day. I also personally thanked the Paramedics on their response, had the chance to shake their hands and give them hugs and shed some tears. They told me more info that night that neither of us knew, I had Died twice that night. There was one question I had asked them that night which was, why did you continue giving me CPR for almost 45 Mins, their response was that they saw life in me as I started to cry, I kept thinking I am dead, lifeless and blue, and they saw life in me and I started to cry. This is truly GOD from the beginning to the End.
Could you imagine the Trinity, The holy spirit, Jesus and GOD All in one place. My wife having the holy spirit tell her to come down. Meeting with Jesus and GOD in the background. The thought of coming back has giving me a new insight. Some images come to me from the event.
This is a update to my current situation on May 19th at 9:50pm I had a Blackout. I was in the kitchen trying to make a dessert dish. I had nausea all afternoon and felt kind of dizzy. So, at about 9:45 pm I started to fall kind of holding my chest with my right hand and with my left hand holding the counter. I was going down slowly. My wife and daughter were in the living room area and we have a open concept area and they didn’t even hear me go down. Maybe a second or two later while I was blacked out, I saw pure white light then felt a shove with a hand kind of pushing me back. I woke up and felt a kind of pain kind of by the left side towards my left ventricle would be. I also felt disoriented and confused, my daughter noticed I was on the ground and called out “dad are you OK” I realized that my defibrillator shocked me back. The first things that came out of my mouth when I woke up was whoa and call 911. They came over and I asked for water and was still dazed. I could not think I felt nauseated. My wife and kids took me to St. Peters in Lacey, and I stayed there for about 5 hours. I was tested and they took a reading of my pacemaker, I also took a reading of my pacemaker, I have a device by my bed that I can manually send the info back to Medtronic.
I thought being on the right track these last 3 years and working towards getting better. I guess my heart wanted to do something different and its been a challenge.
My diagnosis was a VF (ventricular fabulation), Ventricular fibrillation is a heart rhythm problem that occurs when the heart beats with rapid, erratic electrical impulses. This causes pumping chambers in your heart (the ventricles) to quiver uselessly, instead of pumping blood. Sometimes triggered by a heart attack, ventricular fibrillation causes your blood pressure to plummet, cutting off blood supply to your vital organs.
Ventricular fibrillation, an emergency that requires immediate medical attention, causes the person to collapse within seconds. It is the most frequent cause of sudden cardiac death. Emergency treatment includes cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) and shocks to the heart with a device called an automated external defibrillator (AED).
My Versus
Joshua 1 verse 4, your territory will extend from desert to Lebanon and from the great river, the Euphrates-all the Hittite country-to the Mediterranean Sea in the west.
Joshua 1 verse 5, No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, So I will be with you; I will never leave nor forsake you.
Joshua 1 verse 6, Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them.
Joshua 1 verse 9, Have I not command you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
Galatians 2 verse 20, I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God.